A Moment to Reflect
by Romantic Silence
Summary: As Hermione rushes to kiss Ron, she takes a moment to reflect back everything that has happened over the years. She now has to make a choice: Kiss Ron and commit herself to him or finally allow herself to be honest about her feelings for Harry Potter.
1. A Moment to Reflect

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter

**Author's Note:** Hey there! I'm Romantic Silence, and this will be my 2nd Published Fanfiction. I also have another story up called **The Consequences of Revisiting**, check it out if you would like to. The premise came to me one day when I thought about what would happen if Hermione had decided not to kiss Ron during Chapter 31 in the Seventh Book. Granted, I'll be honest, I'm a total fan of Harmony, and there's no way I would ever pair them up with others. However, I don't like to bash characters intentionally. So, feel free to read this story and tell me what your thoughts are. I would greatly appreciate it.

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><p><strong>A Moment to Reflect<strong>

**By Romantic Silence**

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><p>"<em><strong>Hang on a moment!" said Ron sharply. "We've forgotten someone!"<strong>_

"_**Who?" asked Hermione.**_

"_**The house-elves, they'll all be down in the kitchen, won't they?"**_

"_**You mean we ought to get them fighting?" asked Harry.**_

"_**No," said Ron seriously, "I mean we should tell them to get out. We don't want any more Dobbies, do we? We can't order them to die for us!"**_

**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Chapter Thirty-One, The Battle of Hogwarts)**

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><p>I rushed towards Ron as quick and able as I could. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and the sheer awe of Ron's magnificent breakthroughs over the past hour washed over me. I fully intended to take him in my arms and passionately kiss him, to thank him for all that he had done to destroy the Horcruxes, helped the resistance in Hogwarts, and his sincere concern over the house-elves I have always cared for ever since I heard of their plight. My eyes were fully on Ron, his baby blues right in my sights. But as I moved, I heard a faint voice in the back of my head.<p>

_Don't._

And like that, the world around me seemed to have stopped. No, it didn't literally freeze, but my thoughts were moving so fast that it was if it were anyway. I was about to lock lips with Ronald Bilius Weasley, the one I have been vying for ever since Fifth Year ended. But, now that I had time to think, why did I want to be with Ron? He was an amazing person, that was for sure, but so were Harry, and even Neville! What made him so different that urged me to pursue him as a romantic interest?

I knew the answer really. Ron, despite all his flaws, was one of the best people I have ever met. He was a coward, he was lazy, and he was prejudiced; but he was a friend that despite every problem he may have had, he would always come in the end to help those that he cared for. He reminded me…he reminded me of Harry. Ron never saw himself as an equal to Harry; he was always overwhelmed by Harry Potter's shadow to allow himself to view the best traits he had, and if he did, he would know that he had a lot more in common with Harry than he thought.

But the thing was, I knew I was never really in love with him. I convinced myself that it would be great to be in love with Ron Weasley, one of two of my best friends, because people expected us to be together and that he wasn't half bad a catch. And I also knew that he was interested me ever since the Yule Ball. Despite all my insecurities, I knew people wanted me by my Sixth Year. There were several Ravenclaws whose eyes I caught, but I didn't know them, and frankly, I was never comfortable with them to willingly date one of them. And so, despite our many disagreements in beliefs, Ron was _my friend_ and therefore higher on the list of a potential love interest.

But…

Ron was not the one I always eyed.

I glanced briefly to my right to find Harry watching me in shock at my sudden outburst. Although he may not believe it, Harry was one of the most handsome wizards in Hogwarts. Somewhere between Fifth and Sixth Year, Harry grew up to be a man. His tussled, raven hair, his slim, muscular frame, and his dazzling and piercing emerald eyes were some reasons why so many witches wanted Harry Potter the "Chosen One"; but his looks play only a small role for my attraction to him. Harry Potter was the most wonderful person I have ever met, he was always so kind and loving as he always put his loved ones first before him; even with his moodiness and reckless brashness, and, dare I say it, social awkwardness, he was incredibly charming and amazing to be around with. Whenever I'm with him, I always felt safe and secure. There was no one else like him.

Yes, I am in love with Harry James Potter. There was no doubt about that. Even now, when I thought I could maybe make a life with Ron, I was in love with Harry. I knew I was in love with him that day during Third Year. However, I'm not going to claim I finally realized my feelings atop of Buckbeak the Hippogriff where my heart was accelerating and I felt fear grip me. No, it was an event so quiet, so insignificant, that no one would have ever guessed it. People may assume that it may have been when we got Sirius out or when we fended off against the Dementors, but that wasn't the case. It was something simple, something perfect.

We were in the common room doing our homework. Ron had already made his way into bed, but Harry and I had decided to look over our assignment one last time. When I finished, I gazed over at Harry and what I saw was simply breathtaking. The only sound that was made in our companionable silence was the whispered crackling of the fireplace. The light that came from it shone on Harry on one side as it accentuated the peach colored hue of his skin. He had stopped what he was doing to stare back at me, his gorgeous green eyes meeting my brown ones. Harry smiled tenderly at me and went back to work.

My heart was beating rapidly and all the color rushed to my cheeks with that simple gesture. I quickly pretended to be going over my homework again. However, as I covered my face with the parchment in hand, I couldn't help but grin foolishly as my cheeks were still rosy from slight embarrassment. I smiled because then, I realized that I was absolutely in love with Harry. As the silence continued, I committed the entire event of that single moment into my memory so that I can ensure that I never forget that life changing instance.

Even now, even when I held what I thought romantic feelings for my other best friend, I was in love with Harry. I tried to deny it so many times throughout the course of this year. I tried to hold myself against Harry; deluding myself further into believing that Ron was the man of my dreams. Though, yes, he can be a great man after he grew up, I knew he was certainly not what I envisioned as a future partner. Call me cruel, but I have been using him selfishly to ease myself from the pain of Harry's certain rejection. He could never fall in love with me. I was like a sister wasn't I?

But…I can't be certain.

Though I tried to fend off my feelings for him, it was a futile effort. Ever since the quest began, I knew that Harry and I were becoming closer despite my attempts to foolishly disrupt our relationship in Sixth Year (I can't believe I was being such an idiot). Ron didn't like it. He never did. When we travelled, he would always talk to me behind Harry's back and complain about our lack of progress. I often defended Harry, dissuaded Ron from losing hope, but it was useless. Ron left, and he forced me to choose. I cried that day not because it was a hard choice to make, but how easy it was to make it.

I would always choose Harry. No matter what.

There were so many things that happened after Ron's departure. One of the worst things that occurred was when Harry left me to my own devices. He never comforted me like he would before. For that one brief moment, I finally realized the consequences of my actions in Sixth Year. I feared that I destroyed whatever closeness Harry and I held, and it broke my heart. I cried some more because of that thought. Unlike what Harry, and perhaps Ron, believed, I didn't cry over Ron leaving. I was simply saddened on how much the damage I did progressed.

But perhaps, I had been too quick to assume that. After all, Harry had taken me into his arms and we danced. We forgot there was a war around us. We forgot that our best friend abandoned us. We forgot that the weight of the world were on his, and through proxy, my shoulders. We swayed to the beat as I rested my head on his shoulders. I wasn't sure, but he had kissed me at the top of my head then. I was lost in the moment, wishing, desperately wishing that it would never end. But it did. And, despite my denials, I still felt love for him.

And thinking of Ron abandoning us on our quest, I think I never forgave him for that. Now that I had thought about it, I was incredibly furious when he was back again. I think I simply ignored the fact that he had deserted us just so that we could keep the peace between all three of us. Looking at him now, I was worried that if I did decide to be with him, what would happen if the situation had gotten tough again? Would he leave me then too? If he had done it once, he would just as easily had done it again. Sure he may come back, and I think it takes a lot of courage to come back, but that still meant he left.

Now I was faced with a dilemma. We were in the middle of the battle, and that meant that at any moment we could die. I know I shouldn't be thinking about it and should move forward optimistically, but I have to face facts. Ron could die. Harry could die. And I could die. I was presented with a choice now. I could kiss Ron, lie to him that I was in love with him, and continue you with the fight. Or, I would finally be honest with myself and tell Harry that I was in love with him, and that it was always him that I would always choose. I don't care if he doesn't feel the same. I don't care if I may hurt Ron's feelings. I don't care if I go against everyone's expectations. I am in love with Harry Potter, and I will be damned if I took that with me to the grave.

I wrapped my arms around Ron, pulling him into a hard grip that only Harry, so far, had experienced before. I pressed the side of my face against his chest, and I heard the shallow intake of breath that Ron just had. I looked up at him, beaming proudly as I said, "Thank you Ron! For the first time, you actually listened to me about that!"

I saw him smile back, nearly as huge as mine, and dipped his head forward to kiss me. However, I quickly disengaged myself from the hug and turned to Harry, who looked nearly as baffled as Ron. I ignored it at the moment, "Harry. Let's warn the elves after we get the diadem!"

I turned back to Ron, "Ron. You're a great friend." I decided to ignore the time he abandoned us, "We all don't want another Dobby for sure."

I noticed the longing look in his eyes and I can only assume that he had thought that I was about to kiss him. I felt a slight guilt for not doing so, but I vowed that I wouldn't allow myself to waver over my decision. I don't want to die knowing that I was as brave as any true Gryffindor except when it came to my own feelings.

Ron bent down to pick up the supplies he dropped while we had hugged earlier, and as soon as Harry saw that he got all of it, he turned to leave expecting us to follow. I looked at him longingly as we moved swiftly through the corridors. There was a time and place for everything, and right now, I had to place my confession in the back of my mind. I only hope that I had the time to do so…

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><p>Crabbe was dead. Fred was dead. Even Snape was dead. I think, I finally realized my own mortality. These weren't people I met once who then died like Mad Eye Moody. These were people who, until this year, were a constant in my everyday routine in Hogwarts. I could remember vividly Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy antagonizing Harry, Ron, and I ever since First Year. I always reprimanded Fred and George for the pranks they pulled, only to laugh later after everything was all said and done. Then how can I ever forget Snape? The one teacher that went against all my beliefs on authority figures in the classroom with his constant bullying and favoritism?<p>

Sure I never liked two of the three, but that didn't mean it shocked me to find that they were gone and never coming back. From here on, they would forever be a memory that I might forget later on in my old age _if_ I lived that long. 'If', that's the keyword. I finally realized my own mortality. Running around continuing our mission with Harry and Ron, I was fully confident that we would be able to get out alive. But now? I can't say that I'm confident. I'm shaken by the thought. I thought I was long prepared for this, but I guess you are never truly prepared until it's right in front of you.

I looked over to Ron, and I could see him moving mechanically to his family where I saw Molly cradling Fred's corpse against her bosom. George kneeled next to his twin, and I couldn't see his face. I can only guess that he was just as anguished as the rest of his family, if not worse. I saw Ginny, her eyes puffy and red from crying, and I had the sudden urge to go to her and hug her. But I didn't.

_Don't._

Those same words reverberated throughout my head as it commanded me to fight my instincts. Then, I turned to Harry where I found him staring at the two bodies of Remus and Tonks. I nearly gasped. I wasn't sure how they died, but I was thankful, at the very least, they looked in peace. I reached out to Harry, but before I could even touch him, he turned away and walked the opposite of where he came. He moved fast, and I struggled to keep up with him. Finally, I got tired of trying to follow and called out to him, "Harry!"

Harry stopped, and he rotated his body to face me. Surprise was etched onto his face along with a myriad of other expressions that ranged from guilt to melancholy. My heart reached out to him, and I used the change to wrap my arms around him like I had done for Ron earlier. I heard him draw in breath, before he finally reciprocated the affectionate action. I lifted my face to look at him, and I could see his eyes storm with emotions. I gulped before I reached my two hands forward and gently cupped his cheeks.

"It's not your fault Harry." I whispered breathlessly.

"But Fred, Remus, Tonks, I -" Harry choked out.

"It's not your fault."

He stared at me and I met his brilliant emeralds with my browns. Then, because of that one moment, all the regrets and actions that we had taken that nearly destroyed our relationship in the past was gone. It was if the fates moved back the clock, and we were now back in our Fourth Year, back when no one, not even Ron, shared these little instances of silence that engulfed between us. I felt warm, happy, and safe being held in his arms. I could feel his breathing slowly calm. A thousand words were said as we made eye contact still. The sadness, the guilt, and the fear that was filling Harry to the brim disappeared.

"Where were you going?" I asked delicately.

Harry remained quiet, but as I continued to look at him, he said, "I was going to go to Dumbledore's office to look at Snape's memories."

Even with Dumbledore gone, he still counted the office as Dumbledore's. I couldn't help but smile at that. It was then that I realized that we were alone, and I don't think that I would have any other chance than now. It was time that I confessed my feelings for him, the feelings I held for him for nearly four years now. I don't care if he didn't return it. I just wanted him to know that someone out there loved him for everything that he is, and that the incredible man before me was not alone.

"Harry, I have something very important to tell you." I started slowly. I blushed lightly as I could feel his probing eyes observe me. "I want you to just listen. Don't say anything until I'm done. Okay?"

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but opted to simply nod instead.

I smiled, "Good." I took a step back, his arms falling to his sides. Feeling bolder as the seconds passed, I took his hands into my own, and allowed the warmth that I had spread to his coarse, cold digits. I took in a deep breath, and I gazed at him shyly, "Harry. I want you to know that I love you."

He moved to interrupt but I shook my head, "No. I don't mean I love you like a brother I never had, but I love you as a woman would for a man." I watched as his eyes widened in disbelief. I let out a light chuckle, "I started realizing my feelings for you before in Third Year. And no, it was not during the Buckbeak excursion. It was something far earlier than that, and I'm probably sure that you don't remember it."

I ran my hands sensually up his arms, and I snaked my hands around his neck. My breathing hitched, but I steeled myself as I slowly raised myself up by my toes. I craned his head forward gently until my forehead rested on his. I couldn't make out the emotions in his eyes, but he didn't attempt to stop me. I closed my eyes, and I felt faint. But I didn't stop, I continued.

"I love you Harry." I whispered one last time, hoping that Harry didn't stop me now.

I moved my head forward, and I think I felt him do the same. Then, I felt his lips against mine and I knew for certain that he was kissing me back. I felt a sensation I never felt before coursing through me. There were so many emotions involved that I couldn't accurately pinpoint each one. We kissed softly at first, but as we stood there in the hallway as time passed, our kisses became more passionate. I was filled with feelings I never thought I possessed, and I desperately clung to Harry as we continued our embrace, never wanting to let go.

I moaned lightly, and I felt the pleasant surprise of Harry's tongue tenderly caressing the inside of my mouth. This was something I have never done before, but I was willing to learn. I took the opportunity to reciprocate the same action. My body temperature soared, and my cheeks were burning red from our deed. I heard Harry groan in pleasure, and a hint of pride filled my chest. I never intended for things to escalate into this, but I didn't regret one moment of it and I hoped Harry felt the same.

After a few more moments of bliss, we parted. Our breathing was haggard, our hair and clothes were a little askew, and our faces were flushed pink. As we settled and regained our composure, I saw Harry moving closer to me, and I could see the guilt etched onto his face. I tried to bring up a brave front by smiling, but I knew I failed when he looked at me worriedly.

"I…" Harry started, but I placed my finger to his lips to silence him.

I looked at him sternly and firmly stated, "Don't Harry. Don't say anything that could ruin this moment. I told you how I felt because if I die, I could gladly die knowing that I was at least honest with you and myself."

"But…"

"No Harry. No. Just don't." Tears streamed down my cheeks as I pleaded. "I don't expect you to do anything. If you want to talk to me, talk to me when we win. Talk to me after we defeat Voldemort!"

The corridor fell silent; the only sound heard was my quiet weeping. I brought my head down, wondering why I was crying so much. I moved to wipe my tears, but before I could, I felt Harry's hand cup my chin and lifted my head. I sniffled and I gazed at him questioningly, "Harry?"

"I'll come back. Just make sure you take care of yourself." He smiled and brushed his lips against my forehead, "I don't know what I'll do if anything happened to you."

I returned the smile and hugged him. I took in his warmth his scent, and everything I can. I didn't want to lose him. I felt that if I let him go, something terrible will happen and that I will never see him again as the brave man he had grown into. I don't care if he was in love with Ginny and that even after this truly special moment, he still considered me as his best friend. All I wanted was for him to come back safely so that he can live. So that he could finally enjoy the life he was meant to have. He deserved so much, and I don't think anyone deserved to have him as either a friend or something more. He had sacrificed so much, and here he was, sacrificing more in order to ensure that the world would be at peace.

He turned to leave, his footsteps echoing in the empty halls as he made his way towards the Headmaster's office. I could only watch as his back grew further and further away. And as he walked away, I mouthed to him,

"I love you."

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><p>"Harry! HARRY!" I shrieked in anguish. I fell to my knees, tears streaking down my face as I saw the man I was in love with strewn about on the cold ground, dead to the world. I could do nothing but stare at Harry's lifeless face; his lids covered his shining emerald eyes that I once laid upon for unconditional love and support. As I crumpled to the floor, I hysterically whispered, "You promised…you promised…" Ron and Ginny stood by me watching the morbid scene in front of them. I glared angrily at the both of them. Why weren't they nearly as broken as I was? But I know that I shouldn't blame them. It wasn't their fault.<p>

It was mine. I should have stopped him from going to the Headmaster's office. I should have come along with him. I should have done something! Anything! I should have plucked up the courage to confess my feelings for him in Fourth Year. I should have believed him in Sixth Year. I should have done something to comfort in the tent instead of sob and feel sorry for myself. I should have never taken him for granted. He was my rock, he was my life. Without him, I was nothing.

And before I knew it, the battle had started. Chaos reigned supreme on this large battlefield, but I felt nothing but the numbing pain of Harry's demise. I wandered aimlessly throughout the fighting, gracefully ducking and weaving through spells as I did so. I didn't know how I was never hit, but the only thing I felt was sheer hatred coursing through my entire body. I wanted to take revenge. I wanted to kill Death Eaters that dared to have…

I spotted Bellatrix not too far off, I rushed towards her, wand already drawn. Behind me, I could spot Luna and Ginny making their way to help, but I didn't need them. Bellatrix was mine to destroy, to annihilate, and to kill alone. So I hurried with haste, I shot a stunning spell at the black-haired woman, who turned in time to dodge it. She glared at me and called me by that filthy, bigoted name, but I ignored it. I did not say a thing; I would not give her the benefit of riling me up. I felt an overwhelming calm wash over me, and I knew I was ready to take this Death Eater's life.

I found our battle ironically fitting, the two most loyal soldiers of each side respectively fighting it. Except Bellatrix fought for a being that would easily kill her, while I fought for Harry, gentle, kind Harry. The Harry that was now gone forever, taken before his time, and taken before he could fulfill his dream of having a family. I channeled my energy into my spells, and the feet below me crackled at the sheer might of my magic. She shot the killing curse at my chest, but I twirled my wand in an intricate pattern and transfigured the rock below me to rise up and take the blast.

Bellatrix Lestrange's smile faltered and became a snarl. She blasted me with an array of curses that I have never heard of before as we circled around one another. I dodged most, but as my exhaustion rose, I blocked some with a shielding charm if my agility failed. As Bellatrix overcame me, she taunted with malicious statements, "Potter is dead Mudblood! He groveled over my master like a pathetic house-elf, begging the Dark Lord for his life!"

"LIES!" I angrily shouted. I lost my footing and I fell to my knees. Bellatrix cast _Sectumsempra_ and I narrowly avoided taking the full brunt of the curse by rolling to my side. But I was unable to avoid all of it, and the blasted spell cut my wand arm deeper than I thought. I cried out in pain as I dropped my wand.

"Come on Mudblood! Beg for your life like Potter did. Kiss my feet like he had done for my master!" Bellatrix laughed the same exhilarated laugh Sirius had done as he toppled backward through the veil. And I took that chance to grab my wand with my left, and swiftly did the wand movement for the Blasting Curse.

"_CONFRINGO_!" I called out; my curse soared beneath Bellatrix's laughing face and hit her squarely on the chest, directly over her heart. I watched in smug silence as Bellatrix's gloating smile froze and her eyes bulged. She flew backwards from the explosion, and toppled over the floor as she lay dead at my hands. I heard the crowd roar with excitement and heard the demonic scream of Voldemort's.

Unfortunately, the exhaustion finally reached me and my vision blurred. I had killed Bellatrix Lestrange, and as satisfying as it may be, it would not bring Harry back. As much as I wanted to die, I dared not to. Harry wouldn't have wanted that. So I stood up despite the pain from my arm. I watched only in horror as I saw Voldemort raise his wand and directed it towards me. I closed my eyes, as I didn't want the last image I ever saw would be a being with nearly no soul. I thought of Harry, and I thought of all the memories we shared.

"_Protego!_"

A sparkling Shield Charm soon expanded in the middle of the Great Hall, and I furiously scanned the room for the owner of the voice. I could never mistake that voice anywhere. It was Harry. He was alive. I was brought down to my knees as I watched him throw off his Invisibility Cloak and confidently ordered everyone to leave him to fight his nemesis. I wanted to stand and help him, but I could only sob violently as I felt relief to the fact that he was still alive.

The only thing I can do was observe the battle before me. It was Harry versus Voldemort, but it was different this time. I was no longer scared for Harry, the only thing I felt was the overwhelming belief that Harry was going to win. He was going to finally defeat Voldemort and claim the happiness that was just out of reach. If, no, _when_ Harry defeats Voldemort, he could finally live the peaceful life that he always wanted. No one would no longer be able to stop him. And so I cheered for him silently, telling him in my mind to end it all, to end the darkness that reigned over Britain.

And like that, the battle ended. Voldemort and Harry taunted one another, the former being humiliated with each passing moment. Voldemort shot his infamous green curse, and Harry did his signature _Expelliarmus_. In a brilliant display of explosive might and magic, Voldemort was once again struck by his own curse. Volde– Tom Riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing. His death destroyed the very image that he worked hard to accomplish; he threatened the world with his strength and charisma. But now, he was on the ground displayed as weak and hideous.

Tom Riddle was no more.

I stood up, ignoring the screams and cheers and roars from those that had witnessed the final battle. My sights were on Harry and I quickly ran to him with the last vestige of energy I had left. He saw me, smiling brilliantly as I did so. Ron was not too far behind, but I urged myself to beat him. I wrapped my arms around Harry's waist, and I cried hard onto his chest as I mumbled how happy I was that he was alive and well, and how tormented I felt when I thought he gone.

I felt his arms wrap around me, and I lost myself to the warm sensations I now realized I always had whenever I was in his arms. I cared little for what happened next. I saw people wanting to go to him and congratulate him, but I dared not let go.

I never wanted to let him go ever again, and when he looked at me with the most fondest expression I have ever seen, I somehow knew he felt the same.

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><p>I walked down the flight of steps to the Gryffindor Common Room. I was bandaged from head to toe, accumulating more injuries than I thought I had gotten. Then again, with the adrenaline of the battle, you tend to forget you were wounded in some part of your body. Bellatrix's cut wasn't fatal, but it would lead to a permanent scar. I didn't mind, I was proud of the scars I have now because it reminded me of the sacrifices I made to ensure the new peace that would now spread.<p>

The common room's fireplace was lit, and I saw a lone figure sitting on the couch. I instantly knew who it was, and I immediately hurried so that I could sit down next to him. Harry turned around, his mouth frozen in surprise for a moment before smiling and gesturing me to sit over next to him. I eagerly accepted the invitation and made myself comfortable on the loveseat. I stared at the roaring flames, flickering violently as the soft crackles it made soothe me. I laid my head against Harry's shoulder, something I've done many times before.

"I saw you fight Bellatrix." Harry murmured softly. "You nearly gave me a heart attack when you were almost hit by her Killing Curse. I was about to hit her with a powerful spell after she cut you, but I was in absolutely in awe when you gave her the Blasting Curse."

I chuckled, but there was no humor reflecting in my tone, "And you broke my heart when I saw you dead." Tears threatened to spill again, but I held it in. The day had been a nonstop emotional roller coaster, and I didn't need Harry to see me break down anymore. I was not weak, but Harry was both my strength and weakness. Without him, I would shatter like glass, but if I stood by him, I know I could do anything.

"I did die."

"What?" I gasped.

Harry grinned tiredly and sighed, "In the forest. Voldemort hit me with the Killing Curse."

I sat there shocked; Harry once again survived another Killing Curse. It was almost unfathomable to think of, but when it came to Harry, you expect the impossible to happen. But, there was still a question that lingered in my mind that I had to know, "What do you mean you died?"

"I died. I really did. But I was given a choice to come back. Funny enough, I was in King's Cross Station where I met Dumbledore. It turned out; I was a horcrux all along." Harry said with a hint of humor in his voice.

I could only stare at him as the floodgates were let loose and I once again cried against his chest as he held me, "How can you be so upbeat? You were dead! You were a horcrux!"

Harry frowned. I wanted to say more, but I felt his hand gently rubbing my back, easily settling me down for a moment. "I'm alive now aren't I? The reason why I feel happy is that it's done. Voldemort is dead and I don't have the horcrux inside me anymore. But that's not even the best part. I could think more clearly now! All the negative emotions I felt so strongly before are nearly gone!" His smile was contagious, and I couldn't help but beam brightly myself. "Hermione! For the first time ever, I've never felt so right, so great, so bloody brilliant!"

I was happy for him. I truly was. He was going to get his happiness, no doubt he would want to get back with Ginny tomorrow morning. It was inevitable, I knew that, and I was okay with it. It didn't matter what I wanted, what mattered was that Harry was going to live out the life he wanted. If that meant I was just a friend to him, then so be it. I'll gladly be his friend if it meant he was alive and happy.

"But…there's something else. I've been doing some thinking." Harry continued, and I looked at him quizzically, "When I saw the Killing Curse about to hit me. I thought I would think about Ginny, but the last thing on my mind was you and how terrible you would have felt once I was gone."

I smiled sadly, knowing full well how I would have been if Harry was truly dead. I didn't say a word just yet, I wanted to know what Harry was going with this.

"That kiss we shared. I…I never felt so alive. It just felt right, like everything fit together. I…I never felt that way when I kissed Ginny." Harry confessed. I snapped my head towards him, my eyes widening and only the sound of me stuttering escaping my lips. "Hermione, I…don't know what love is. So I can't tell you if I'm in love with you or not. But I need to know, when we kissed, did I only feel that way because of the peril we were in? Or did I truly feel something more for you than friendship?"

I blushed; I drew in my knees and rested my chin on one. I took a moment to contemplate and smiled bashfully at Harry, "Let's find out."

We looked at one another grinning, and the love I had for him intensified. I knew what it was now like to see him gone from the world, and I knew then that the only man for me was Harry James Potter. I tentatively inched forward as he did the same, my hands slightly shaking out of nervousness. I panicked in my mind, thinking that the feeling Harry felt that first time was a fluke. A fluttering feeling filled my stomach as we grew closer and closer. He planted a soft, feathery kiss on my lips, and the euphoric phenomena that I felt before reemerged.

When we parted, I looked at Harry cautiously, wondering what he felt. "D-did you f-feel the same?"

"No." Harry stated flatly.

My face instantly fell and my heart was once again shattered. I wanted to climb back upstairs and to remain under my own covers forever. But I stayed as Harry took my hands into his as he stared fiercely into my eyes. I was unable to escape his grasp. He snaked his arms around my waist and leaned forward to rest his forehead on mine as he stared into chocolate brown eyes with his emeralds. In a hushed whisper filled to the brim with love, he said, "It was better."

And we kissed again, and as we did so, I took a moment to reflect how I came to love Harry Potter, the boy who would always have my heart.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Alright, this isn't necessarily a one-shot. This is merely a preview for this Romance/Drama/Family/Slice-Of-Life story I want to write alongside my other story. However, I want some additional feedback whether or not I should continue it. I'm perfectly fine with the way it is at the moment, but there are so many more stories in here that I want to explore. So if you're interested, leave me a review. Anyway, until next time!


	2. Compassion in Honesty

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter.

**Author's Note: **I'm sticking to a comfortable 4000-6000 word range for these chapters as I can go about this leisurely. I also attempt to try and get into Hermione's mind and character, and sometimes, it's a little bit difficult at first to see their perspective. I only hope I did a decent job ha ha.

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><p><strong>Compassion in Honesty<strong>

I didn't know what time it was. The dim light of the fire vanished as what was once a roaring fire was diminished into nothing but ashes. I was nestled into Harry's bosom, the warmth from his body the only thing I needed to stave off the crisp chill of the night. It was still dark out, and I could see the cloudless sky from my position through the window of the common room. The stars twinkled brightly, and I allowed myself to romanticize the reasons why it was so. They were honoring the fallen, the ones who gave their lives in the pursuit of freedom from the tyrant oppression of Voldemort's ideology.

I wasn't tired. How can I be? I could still feel the grime and dirt of the battlefield as I struggled for survival. The taste of iron from the blood of those that were killed fresh on my tongue. I could still see and hear the screams of agony, the battle cries of the enraged, and the rampant chaos that destroyed the idea of peace and emphasized only the brutality of a war that should not have been fought. I knew that I would have nightmares of this entire year for decades to come.

The only thing that soothed me was the soft, rhythmic thumps of Harry's heart beating. It both fascinated and terrified me. Here was the proof that Harry was still alive. When all seemed bleak and ready to fall apart, I know that as long as Harry was here, I would be able to get through it. I knew what it felt like to believe that this organ was still; how much it tormented me with each passing second that I had once came close to never hearing the pumping of his essence ever again.

"You're thinking again." Harry said, startling me. I looked up to find his charming, smirking face pointed at me and my initial surprise gave way to a light chuckle. I didn't even retort back with a response, I simply laughed, thankful that Harry drew my mind away from the depressing thoughts that riddled the aftermath of the battle. "Hermione, what do we do?" He asked worriedly.

I wondered what he meant. Evidently, he added 'we' in the question so it had to be something about the two of us. I glanced at our joined hands and I realized what he was asking. It was an excellent question really. What were they to do now? He had confessed that he did feel something for me, but how strong and to what extent he felt was a mystery he still had yet to solve. However, I knew what I wanted, and I was willing to explore a romantic relationship with Harry. I love him, but I didn't want to force him into something he wasn't sure of. I was worried at the notion that we simply might not work out as I had hoped, but I was more than willing to risk it because I know that even if we broke up, we would still be the best of friends.

That was a fact.

I smiled at him, taking a brief moment to lightly peck him on the lips. "Well," I whispered softly, "We can maybe have a try and go at a relationship. See if we'll make it far as a couple." I couldn't help but blush lightly, a little embarrassed having voiced what I felt.

Harry's answer was instantaneous, and it would have been a bad thing if he had refused, but thankfully, he had agreed with my idea wholeheartedly, "Brilliant. You're always right."

I couldn't help but sport a large grin. Harry was now officially my boyfriend. I pressed myself closer to Harry, and I could feel his arms wrap around my waist as we settled into a sweet embrace. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to completely relax myself into the euphoria as I remembered two of the most important in our lives: Ron and Ginny. It seemed unfair to them. That after everything that happened Ron would not have the woman he supposed he loved, and Ginny wouldn't have the shining knight that she had long waited for nearly ten months. I felt guilty that I jilted two brave individuals.

But life was not a fairy tale with a happy ending. It was not some children's book where, in the end, everyone would be one big happy family.

This was reality.

Life was unfair. Harry's family was killed long before he even known them and was raised in an abusive home that broke him down to a little boy who just wanted to be loved. I had to experience the pain of willingly losing my parents using my own hands to do so. It tore at my heart for what I did to them, but it was something that had to be done. Even with the war over, and I was free to retrieve them, it was still possible that I may have messed up the spell and left them to forever assume their aliases.

Ron and Ginny still had their family. While the loss of Fred was great, I knew that they were able to mourn for him together as a singular unit. They were the ones that knew each other best, and because of that, it would help them move on and honor Fred's sacrifice by enjoying their life. Harry had no one. And I had no one. No, I'm wrong. We have each other. We may have friends, but it was not the same. They didn't share the same bond that Harry and I had with each other. Even if it we were never interested in one another romantically, that same bond would still be there.

I know Harry and I were breaking the hearts of two of our staunchest supporters, but, in time, they would understand. They will heal, and eventually, they will forgive Harry and me. They have to. I would never give Harry up. What I learned from my experience is that you can never doubt love and that you should never deny it. Because sometimes, if you do, you can make the mistake of kissing the wrong man, something I almost did.

"Harry." I murmured.

"Yes Hermione?"

"We have to tell Ron and Ginny."

I felt Harry nuzzle into the back of my head, filling his face with the scent of my hair. I could feel the grip he had around my waist tightened, and he pulled me into a protective hold that molded our bodies together. The comfortable position was what allowed me to finally succumb to the day's events. I found myself drifting into unconsciousness; the last thing I heard was Harry's quiet reply,

"I know."

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><p>The next day was an emotional tiring day for both Harry and I. We, the Golden Trio, were swept up in the whirlwind of media excitement and public appraisal for our hand in the defeat of Voldemort. Harry, especially, was given considerable attention for personally destroying the strongest Dark Wizard since Grindelwald. I disdained the people cheering in excitement even while I understood why they clamored in joy. They were now free to live in a world without fear of darkness hanging over them. I envied them for their simple mentality, but they many don't realize the trials and hardship that everyone in the battle had felt.<p>

No one understood that Harry, above all, was feeling the worst over the events that happened. I could see it in him that he wanted to be left alone to mourn over those he lost. Even Ron, who always wanted the spotlight, was just as eager to leave. The feelings of melancholy that hung over us would take time to dissipate, but it was not yet the time. We had to grieve for our losses before we could heal. We know that in the weeks to come, we would have to attend funeral after funeral after funeral. Tonks, Remus, Fred, Colin, and so many others had been lost. Almost all of the deaths that happened were people that Harry personally knew. The guilt would eat him if he was left to himself.

It was dinner time now, everyone had gathered into the Great Hall to eat the meals provided by the house-elves. Harry decided to skip the meal in favor of rest. Unlike me, he hadn't slept last night. He told me he simply thought about many things. As much as I wanted to force him to eat something when he told me he wanted to skip, I relented. He needed to be alone and he needed to sleep. So now, Ron and I were alone in the atrium as we walked towards the large doors that led into the Great Hall.

When I could only hear my footsteps moving, I turned around to find Ron standing there gazing at me. His body hinted an internal conflict he was having with himself as he shifted his weight from one leg to another as his ears burned a slight crimson. Finally, he blurted out, "Hermione. Can we talk?"

I didn't look surprised, and I knew that the conversation that I dreaded to have was now finally occurring. However, I reminded myself of the vow I held to myself, and placed a brave smile on as I replied, "Sure."

I moved closer to him, and stopped when I was only a few inches away. I looked up at him, staring into his blue eyes that used to sparkle with an exuberance of youthful naivety. I only hoped that it was temporary, because I always found the enthusiasm he had always to be charming. "What is it?" I asked when he remained silent.

"I want to…" Ron hesitated, and I could hear him click his tongue in frustration, "…talk about us. I…really like you. And I think I'm pretty much in love with you. And, I think, that we could work well together and so…umm…" He struggled to find the words, and I was mildly surprised that he had yet to put his foot in his mouth. However, that mild surprise gave way to horrified shock when he yelled, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

I gaped at him, I was unable to speak. I blinked once or twice as the words settled into my mind. Ron Weasley had just proposed to me. That was…that was…insane! Even if I had been in love with him, it wasn't like we discussed the nature of our relationship! I mean, I just couldn't understand the logical reason behind this. Well, I probably can if I think hard enough, but right there, I hadn't the foggiest idea on how Ron ever came to the conclusion that he should propose.

As I stood there rendered speechless, Ron began to ramble, "Well, I think, for awhile now, that I love you. And you love me. And with the war going on and how close we were to dying. I mean, my brother died Hermione! He's gone! And I don't know what to do. And it feels like I'm feeling like I could get killed at any moment. So I was thinking that I should live life to the fullest and well, why even bother dating, I mean we already know enough about each other so I guess we can just skip straight to getting married. Hell, maybe if I get Harry to propose to Ginny we could go for a double wedding and –"

Was this how I sounded whenever I was lecturing the boys? I fervently shook my head, "RON!"

"What?" Ron said dumbly as he stopped his nearly breathless tirade to stare at me, a little confused.

"I…" I bit my lip, there really wasn't any easy way to say it. "I can't be with you." I whispered.

"W-what! Why not! I thought we had something going…" Ron shouted, eyes wavering between disbelief and frustration.

And I told him everything. I told him about the feelings I held for Harry since we were young. I told him how much I tried to hide it in fear of rejection. I told him how I pursued him in a misguided attempt of love. I confessed how I almost leapt into his arms in order to kiss him passionately when he mentioned the house-elves, but held back after giving myself time to think. Then, I told him what happened in the atrium between Harry and me; how we had kissed with such intense emotions. I let out how I felt when I thought Harry was dead, and how relieved I was to see him alive. And finally, I came to the conversation Harry and I had the previous night.

"We want to try Ron. I know, you might be angry, but this is how I really feel and I'm glad to say that Harry also reciprocated a part of it. I'm not sorry that I fell in love with him, but I _am_ sorry how I led you on." I paused to observe Ron. He had an undecipherable expression that I was unable to read. I wasn't sure if he was angry or simply contemplating all that was said.

Suddenly, Ron's shoulders sagged and he frowned. He sighed and looked away from me. "I understand." Ron said solemnly before he moved from me and walked in the direction of the Great Hall.

"Ron!" I called out to him, wanting to at least leave a comforting word behind.

He stopped his stride and swerved the upper portion of his body towards me and shook his head, "Hermione. My brother is dead. Eventually, we will all die too. If being with Harry makes you happy, so be it. I might hurt for awhile, but you know I would eventually come around." He smiled at me reassuringly. I said his name again, but he continued to shake his head, "To be honest, I knew you would always choose Harry. I was always jealous of him y'know. I thought he had everything. But if this battle taught me one thing, it's that family is priceless. Now, I think Harry deserves anything good that comes his way."

I stared at him, I wondered briefly who was this man in front of me. This was not the Ron I know. This was not the Ron that had the emotional range of a teaspoon. Sometime between yesterday morning to right now, Ron had grown up. I smiled genuinely at him as I fondly said, "That's so mature of you Ron."

He met my smile with a wry grin, "I think I upgraded my emotional range from a teaspoon to a teacup right?"

"Definitely."

"So, friends?"

I saw the heartbroken gaze he had for me. He was incredibly hurt, and he held the pain that I feared to have. He loves me for some odd, miraculous reason. He chose me somehow. If the circumstances were different, I knew that if given the chance, I would be able to fall in love with him. But I couldn't. I was in love with Harry, and I held a different love for Ron. He was my best friend, the friend that I now thought was the brother I never had – thinking about it, our arguing can also be seen as a sibling rivalry too – and, eventually, he would move on to find a woman that would share his love with him.

I felt my eyes tearing up, the battering of my mental walls allowing a simple drop of emotions to slip. I beamed at him and said,

"The best!"

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><p>Dinner had been a somewhat somber event. Molly and Arthur were taking Fred's death worse than yesterday; George was left in a catatonic state throughout the entire meal, the rush of the survival from fighting having finally left him. I wanted to go over to the Weasleys in an attempt to help with anyway I can, but Ron stopped me and told me that it they had to do things alone as a family for awhile. I was initially hurt at first, considering they had always counted Harry and I as family, but I came to an understanding that unlike Harry and I, they all had known Fred for all his life.<p>

I settled with sitting with Neville, Parvati, Padma, Seamus, and Dean. When I asked where Lavender was, Parvati had nearly broken down before revealing that Lavender was still in the Hospital Wing being treated for her injuries when she was confronted with Fenrir Greyback. I felt chills run down my spine when I heard. I offered my sympathies and expressed that Ron's older brother, Bill, had been attacked as well but had no turned. If anything, I mentioned to her, Lavender would just have a better liking to steak. To my immense relief, Parvati cheered up.

As we ate, I shared a little of what Harry, Ron, and I did during the year. I never revealed that we were hunting for Horcruxes, but I did unravel a tale of espionage and sabotage that culminated in Voldemort's weakened form that allowed Harry to defeat him once and for all. It wasn't a complete lie as, technically, that was what we did, but I still felt a little guilty for not telling them the whole truth. The knowledge of the Horcruxes must be forever hidden.

I was impressed to find how much Neville had grown in character since the first time I met him on the train. He was incredibly more confident about himself, evidenced when the 'Golden Trio' didn't arrive at Hogsmeade on September 1st; Neville took it upon himself to ensure that Dumbledore's Army was revived in order to fight against the tyranny that settled over the school. Thankfully, he had a lot of people willing to help.

Surprisingly, it was Seamus that helped start it up when others refused to listen to Neville at first.

While I had expected Neville to do the things that he did, I had to admit that I would never had accounted Seamus for being able to pull off the feats that he did. Neville told stories of Seamus and his efforts to keep the younger students safe from harm and how he was subsequently tortured and beat up for hours at a time because of his sacrifice. It was the reason why he had the bruises that made his face unrecognizable when we met him in the Room of Requirement.

Even Parvati and Lavender displayed a true Gryffindor bravery I had never seen before when we were together in the dorms. Along with her sister, Parvati gathered intelligence among the other Houses to see who can be trusted, putting great risk to themselves in the process. However, it was Lavender who took on one of the toughest jobs for Dumbledore's Army. While Neville and Seamus appealed to former DA members and Gryffindors to join the newly formed one, it was Lavender who set out to recruit new people from various other Houses to do so; she successfully recruited seventeen new members: Five from Ravenclaw, eight from Hufflepuff, and four from Slytherin!

We parted not long after, and Neville took it upon himself to escort me back to the tower. Not that I needed the protection, but I welcomed the chance to privately catch up with the first person I met that was my age in the magical world. However, as we neared the entrance to the common room, we couldn't help but notice the Fat Lady's portrait open and the sound of yelling drifting out into the hall. Not deterred by the strangeness of the situation, Neville and I moved closer to investigate.

The fat lady that was usually in the portrait was missing; I assumed that she probably left the entrance open so that she can go about whatever she wanted to do. It wasn't just the people down below that were celebrating; the ghosts and even the portraits were in the mood for partying. I closed the entrance, feeling myself paranoid still that a Death Eater who escaped the battle may somehow make their way into our sleeping quarters. Highly unlikely, but being constantly vigilant was a good motto to go by.

We made our way up the hall that led into common room where we then heard Harry's voice echo at our location.

"Ginny, calm down." I heard Harry say in a placating tone. It was then I recognized who had been shouting at the top of their lungs earlier; it was Ginny.

"Why should I?" Ginny's temper flared, "I waited for you Harry. I thought that after this is all over, we could finally pick what he had up."

"I'm sorry Ginny, but –"

"But what Harry? The reason I fought for the D.A. was so that I can help create a world of peace so we can be together again." Her voice was shaky, and I feared for the waterworks that were to come. I glanced over at Neville who was silently frowning for a few moments.

Harry sighed, and I mused in curiosity if he ran his fingers through his hair like he did whenever he was frustrated, "Things change. I changed. I died Ginny. I really did, and when I did, I realized something. Something I should have realized a long time ago. I love you Ginny, I really do, but I'm not _in_ love with you. I can't return your feelings. I can't be that man you dreamt of since you were little. If I simply accepted feeling as I do right now, then I would be lying to you and I would be lying to myself. I'm sorry Ginny."

I could hear Ginny's light, but rapid footsteps approaching and I froze. I panicked at first, thinking that Neville and I had intruded on a private conversation that shouldn't have been heard by us. However, Neville remained still in his stance, and that was enough to calm me down and compose myself. I saw Ginny walking to us, with her hands in her eyes. However, as she edged closer, she noticed our presence. For a fleeting moment, I thought I saw Ginny flashing me a murderous look before she returned to sobbing into her hands.

My body moved to go to her, but I stopped in my tracks when Neville's arm was held out in front of me. Neville smiled apologetically, "I'll go talk to her." There was finality in his tone that brokered no argument. I sighed and nodded, prompting Neville to proceed with what he intended to do.

I soon walked into the common room, spotting Harry slumped against the couch, predictably sighing and running his hand through his scalp. His brow was creased with worry, and I immediately knew the guilt he felt over his decision. I was quite proud of him that he managed to keep his temper, but like he told me the previous night, the Horcrux might have amplified his 'negative' emotions and may have been the cause of most of his emotional outbursts over the past few years.

He noticed me coming in, flashing a small smile as I became closer. I returned the smile and took the seat next to him, placing my hand over his as I did so. If Harry wanted to talk, he would know I would be here. I didn't want to prod him into giving me information, as it was a delicate and emotional matter for him because, like Harry, I understood the risk of rejecting the advances of the two young Weasleys. To Harry, it meant the possibility of hurting his ties to the family who treated him like they were one of his own.

"She's hurt." Harry muttered.

I nodded, "Ron too."

"But they will come around."

"Of course they will. You're family to them."

I felt Harry's hand tighten its hold on mine. In his eyes, I spotted guilt, hurt, and longing being reflected with a cool sadness. However, underneath it all, I saw relief, and happiness carefully hidden. I knew Harry was going to be fine. We told them the truth, and they would accept it with time. If we had lied from the beginning, the repercussions would have been immense. Fortunately, the Weasleys had themselves to rely on, and they would cope. Though the relationship between us and the family would be strained for some time, Harry and I had each other, and that was all we needed for now.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> A reviewer named Oz commented on my other story to seek a Beta, and I definitely agree with him or her about that. So, I'm more than happy if someone was able to help me out regarding the editing process. I tried looking up that Beta list, but I find it a bit intimidating. Also, let's face it, what if I got someone who supported Canon Shipping as my Beta?


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